Our hearts are home….

DSC_1853

There is so much shifting in the world right now, and I know from my own life and listening to others, that many souls are feeling it. Life, as always, continues to flow forward and there are a few things that ease that flow for me; love, trust, stillness, time and acceptance.

We all get so very busy doing this and that in daily life, that we can lose the sound of our inner voice. I had a plan and it felt right and I spent hours researching, investigating, exploring and trying to make this happen. My plan was to set-up a business that flowed care to others in a therapeautic way, with support and creative expression….perfect I thought. Life had other ideas. At every turn I got blocked and no matter how hard ‘I shook the tree’ my flow was not flowing!

I stopped, went still inside and let it simply be for a while. We fear stillness, because within it we ‘see’ ourselves and our patterns and that may not be a comfortable reality. As a naturally nurturing soul I was caught up in empowering others to find balance. I lived and worked in this way and have ended up worn out and emotionally exhausted.

Time to be still.

My inner voice said ‘What do you feel drawn to?’ and the answer was clear. Creativity. My authentic self craves expression in painting, writing and creating.

OK, I acknowledged the reality of what I was seeing. My first thought was ‘I need some workshop space to create in’ and within twenty four hours it all flowed, in ways that I could not have imagined or planned. Cosmic flow ‘knows’ so much better than I do!

Life has gifted workshop space to share with another artist not ten minutes from Mum and Dad’s home and I start to move in tomorrow. It is a huge industrial loft space with great iron girders above and old wooden floorboards holding us safe beneath our feet. The feeling in this place is so peaceful that I just stood there and breathed it in on my first visit. It is near to the river too and I can foresee many future moments gathering strength and inspiration from nature down there. I will be making furniture, re-vamping furniture, painting and creating loving objects for the home.

In the same day, just in case I had not got the message clearly, I had a request to look after one of my favourite dogs several times over the Spring and Summer, a possible flat to live in that is currently being re-vamped and will be ready by Summertime (again not ten minutes away from Mum and Dad and five minutes from the workshop) with a trusted friend as my landlord, newly found links to various outlets to sell my creations and a request to organise a psychic event to promote a local artists’ collective. So many blessings and possibilities.

I made the decision to flow away from the online service with gratitude for all I have learned from my years working on there. Letting go to allow space for the ‘new’ to flow in and carrying in my heart the loving connections made.

Trusting that all is meant to be and will continue to flow forward, and so long as I nurture the love in my heart, I am home.

Light, dark and many degrees of shade….

(Garry Wilkes)

Trent & Mersey Canal after sunset (Garry Wilkes)

A thoughtful friend sent these photographs across of the Trent & Mersey canal this evening, so I could ‘share’ in his walk. I was tucked up at home with Mum and Dad, with Mum and I knitting like the clappers, because I was simply too weary for anything else. Bless my parents for their safe mooring. I received a message from Emily recently asking if I had time to knit her a waterfall cardigan. I jumped at the chance with absolute delight and when ‘us girls’ had some time together we had great fun choosing wool. Em was seven when she asked me not to make her any more hand knitted garments, no matter how trendy I made them look….I have been waiting fifteen years for this request and I am bubbly inside just thinking about it. There is love going into every stitch.

Anyhoo, back to the theme of this post.

I blossom in light, think in light, work in light and live in light. I have learned that fear kills light and have developed a number of ways of dealing with adversity and life’s tumbles. Holding onto light weaves through all of them.

When a soul is stuck in the dark of fear, we can shine our light and flow love to them, but the darkness will remain until they can work their way through it. If you find your light dimming then sometimes your only choice is to step away.

In the aftermath of a different step over Easter, a creative idea formed today with a business plan flowing from it. Mum and I went out exploring in the afternoon sunshine and discovered some rather interesting premises. As today drew to a close a meeting was arranged and things are starting to fall into place. I need a change and action, together with synchronicity, will bring this forth as it is meant to be.

Life’s canal is flowing and I can feel the warmth of sunshine on my boat.

(Garry Wilkes)

Trent & Mersey Canal in the evening sunshine (Garry Wilkes)

Adventures…..

Muddy Boots

Shared hopes and dreams,
New pathways to tread.

Held hands and railway tracks,
Spring lambs and smiles.

Nattering and laughter,
Exploring side by side.

Life unfolding with joy,
Hearts nestled in care.

Many adventures to come,
Two souls singing as one.

Hilltop

No one expects you to save the world, otherwise you would have been born wearing a cape and tights!

daffodils-455359_1280

I sit here writing this post at Emily’s laptop surrounded by her things, as a glass of daffodils hold hope on the windowsill.

The title of this post are the words on a poster above her bed and it ends by saying ‘Just do the best you can’. A supportive gift from her boyfriend.

‘Us girls’ are spending time together and talking through her plans for when she leaves Uni in a few months time. This afternoon Em has gone off to a seminar and I will make a lasagne for us to share when she returns later. Loving support and yummy food go a long way to making life sweet. I listen and offer support in the way of practical things I could do to help, but I am not here to tell her what to do. She has much wisdom, balance and her own instinct to guide her.

From my perspective there is no such thing as mistakes along the road; we can but try different paths and adjust as we go along. No experience is ever wasted. Loving support means everything and a life where those around you offer space for you to talk and work things out for yourself is the kindest way forward. There will always be those who do not understand your choices, the situation you are in and why you take the steps you do. There is flowing grace in listening to your inner voice and holding the hope that all is unfolding with love.

Life can get messy and everyone’s ‘operating system’ is different. There have been times when I have been told that I never stick at things, when my loyalty and loving actions have flown under the radar and I found myself alone on the front line taking the flack for the consequences. False accusations and stories can fly and the hardest thing is to stay silent, retain an open loving heart and continue to step forward.

For me it is not balanced to have expectations on what someone can do for you, or for what you can get from a situation. Balance comes from holding an open heart and flowing loving support for all concerned and in that way ‘A rising tide raises all ships’.

I know in my heart that Emily has choices to make and her own ‘operating system’ will evolve. I cannot protect her from imbalance coming in from others ‘operating systems’, but I can be there with flowing love and support and the ‘shared knowledge’ of self that is hopefully the sturdiest shield in her armoury.

We are all imperfect and without labels love simply is…

FB_IMG_1426844537164

Mum’s fabby friend Claire took this photograph of the solar eclipse this morning and she gracefully said I could use it here. Nature for me is perfect and this morning her display was magnificent as Mum, Dad and I stood in the garden and watched this unfold. I have sat pondering on what to write around this picture all day and then a lovely friend in Australia, ‘Coastalmom’, wrote and pointed out that a comment I had left on her blog was a good title for a blog post……love flowing back to you Di. x

Em and I had a window of opportunity to talk for ages on the phone this morning. It was bliss and the timing perfect. I thought afterwards of all the times that we take a few minutes to chat and send ‘works in progress’ photos to each other on our latest creations and updates on where we are with ‘this and that’.

Mum and I stood on platform this week as mediums in the local spiritualist church, with much gratitude between us that we can work together. We are apparently amusing to watch at times! When either of us has finished a message we turn to the other and ask ‘Would you like to have a go now?’ There follows a few seconds of ‘Do you want to carry on?’, ‘Have you got another message?’ and we end up clasping hands and smiling at each other as we swop places at the front. At one point I turned to the congregation and commented ‘You should see us when we go shopping together!’.

Mum is going for her final assessment as a platform medium tomorrow and she is as nervous as anything. With this pending and a lost hearing aid in the mix, there was much potential for mis-communication this week. Instead there has been laughter and nurture flowing wherever possible and I know that tomorrow she will be grand and ‘fly with it’.

Dad’s week has been building up to a major step towards his latest project and to say there has been a tad of ‘walking on eggshells’ going on around here would be a slight understatement. Step by step everything has been prepared and this afternoon it went off without a hitch. A collective ‘breathing out’ has now taken place…

At rare times in my life I have woken up in the middle of the night with a ‘vision’ and it happened this week. I see things and get detail on the ‘how and what’ and it is all very clear. I took the brave step of sharing it with Mark the next day in the form of a rather long email (poor man), because he was busy all day and we are not due to see each other till tomorrow night. I needed to share it while it was still fresh and then I had a few hours of disquiet until he was able to read it and respond. This is all new territory for us. His reply came and his opening line of ‘I think your idea is brilliant…’ was followed by words of loving care and solid support.

Bobbie, ‘Tornadoday’, said this week that she feels ‘Perfect is the enemy of done’ and I told her that I felt ‘Perfection is the killer of joy’.

With imperfection abounding, nature has flowed perfectly and this week has been filled with love. x

Memories to treasure….

ox-wagon-359825_1280

My special friend Bobbie, ‘Tornadoday’, has this as a part of her life philosophy ‘You cannot travel in the wagon facing backwards’. You paint beautiful pictures with your words Bobbie, and as you and I have shared, there will be times when the wheels can kick up dust even if we are facing frontwards.

Mark organised and led a walk in Lancashire on Saturday following a disused railway line. Twenty two of us set out from Preston railway station following the old railway path through the northern suburbs of the city out into the countryside. We were able to drop down onto the old embankment as we cleared the houses and it was touching to see that people have cared enough to plant bulbs and keep it free of brambles.

I walked alongside some lovely and interesting people as we shared life details and listened to Mark outlining the history of the railway. Some intrepid souls had travelled from as far as Suffolk to be with us. Needless to say there were moments filled with comraderie and laughter as fences, gates and stiles were negotiated.

Derek saying with a twinkle in his eye, as his leg was raised over a particularily difficult fence ‘I knew the thong was a mistake this morning’.

I watched helping hands, encouragement and love flow amoung them all.

There was a chuckle inducing moment when we came across a field full of chickens and I, thrilled to see them, called out without thinking. They streamed up the bank assuming I had food and my fellow walkers (thank goodness we were at the back at that stage) laughed as I stood there saying ‘Oh bollocks, what have I done!’ and ‘Sorry girls’ to the chickens.

A ‘dusty’ feeling in my wagon was that Mark would be focussed on the task in hand and seeing that the group were all safe and enjoying themselves and I would somehow be in the way. Old emotions from the past were surfacing in me and determined to face forwards I battened down the hatches and tried not to bother him. As we all poured into the pub for lunch he immediately made his way over to me smiling and saying ‘Are you alright? I’ve put my rucksack on a chair for you and what would you like to drink?’. There were a number of reassuring moments like this and they made all the difference to how I was feeling, without me having to say a word to him. Very near the end of the walk (did I mention it was about 8 miles long?) he looked across to me and said ‘Only another five minutes to go, are you alright?’. As we worked our way through the little town of Longridge to the old station house (which is lovely), Mark’s friends who were with me at the back again, said ‘You know it’s more like 15 minutes don’t you Jane?’…they were laughing…I mean really!!

Our muddy boots are side by side in the boot of Mark’s car ready for our next walk in North Wales, nestling alongside new memories I already treasure.

Loving circles catch a thermal….

The Wirral

I have felt the need lately to clear space so that new working steps can flow in and last Sunday was my final shift on the online text support service. I logged off at 1pm and to draw a loving line under this work Mark suggested a trip out. I chose the seaside.

It poured down with rain and was, ironically, bitterly cold too, yet this did nothing to dampen spirits in the car as he drove me around The Wirral in Cheshire. We joyfully discovered that we explore in the same way and had a great time discovering all sorts of country lanes and beautiful views. Picnics in the car are great fun and we sat there looking at a map, munching away and coming up with ideas for future adventures as the rain drummed down on the car roof. There was a gap in the clouds and we jumped out to explore Hoylake lifeboat station and the beach…I may have mentioned, several times (ahem), how cold I was, so hot coffee featured in our next pitstop! Then we parked up at West Kirby so I could photograph the sunset. We sat there in companionable silence as the sky and sea changed colour and I was wrapped in his gentle patience as we waited for the best moment to capture nature’s display.

Work has continued to circle through this week as I have picked up the reins again on the live support service. One of the gifts contained in this has been the continued contact with Wendy and Tracey, my colleagues. Very loving frendships full of understanding, support and laughter.

Our dining room table is graced with rainbow colour at the moment as Christine Moran, my loving friend, gifted these beautiful tulips. Chris and I are excited because we are going to be able to spend time together this year at the book launch for her wonderful poetry book ‘Dancing in the Rain’ and during other adventures….pants over tights and cape flicking hey my funky teapot buddy?

Chris's tulips

My work space in Leyland has not been confirmed, so I have set sail looking for new opportunities. This time out I am going to look for independant space and we’ll see where this path leads. I had a list of possible options and Mark took me by the hand to explore them all yesterday. It’s a work in progress, but I have every faith that the circles have a purpose and I’ll flow into the right space. There was one that ‘hummed’ with energy and I am going back tomorrow to explore it further. This latest round of hunting was celebrated with a yummy dinner, which was handy as Mark was starting to go pale……

I have many photos on my phone of Emily and her new hair style this week. Each day she has started the day with ‘This is my style today Mum, what do you think?’ On Monday she had very long hair that was all cut off. Her hair has gone to the Princess Trust to be made into wigs for children dealing with cancer and she also raised over £100 in donations for the same charity. I am so proud of you Em. x

Ems new hair xx

This window of time I have with Mum and Dad is a gift and yesterday morning I managed to finish work early and bobbed outside to see how Dad was getting on building his new store. We fell into a familiar routine and as the welcome Spring sun shone on us and I ‘assisted’ as he worked. He cracked a joke at one stage and asked if I had heard it before? Many memories of ‘assisting’ floated up and I gently suggested that I may, just may, have heard it during other project moments that revolved mainly around guttering and drainage! It made me think of Mum and how many years she has stood ‘assisting’ by his side. You have a book to write here Mate, you really do!

There’s a new week about to start with Emily going great guns on her dissertation, Mum preparing for her final Mediumship assessment, Dad finishing his store and Mark holding my hand as we explore together.

My thoughts end this post with Jasper, as his Mum took a picture of him blowing his Granny kisses for the new tank top she has knitted for him. Xx

Jasper 1


Jane Thorne

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 887 other followers

My Community

Follow me on Twitter

Categories


Family Rules

Reflections by Plain Jane

The Poet's Crafts

Life in rhyme - rhyme in life

Find My Audience

Matching Writers To Readers

Mindfulbalance

An Irish Mindfulness Practice blog: More balance, less stress, better living, greater health.

Cherry B's Adventures and Musings.....

Life is full of adventures and this is my journey....

clockworkengineer

This is a work in Progress about building a Regulator Clock from scratch

Elan Mudrow

The Ridges of Intertextuallity

String Knife and Paper

Highs and Lows of working abroad

Behind the White Coat

Beats a real human heart...

Poems & poèmes

"Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart." – William Wordsworth

Storyshucker

A blog full of humorous and poignant observations.

Graham Writer

Musings of an author.

Together

Short Story about human being

Brevity

A Hodgepodge of Ramblings

Jill Weatherholt

Pursuing a Passion for Writing

A Suffolk Lane

A diary of my life in rural north Suffolk.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 887 other followers