Adventures…..

Muddy Boots

Shared hopes and dreams,
New pathways to tread.

Held hands and railway tracks,
Spring lambs and smiles.

Nattering and laughter,
Exploring side by side.

Life unfolding with joy,
Hearts nestled in care.

Many adventures to come,
Two souls singing as one.

Hilltop

No one expects you to save the world, otherwise you would have been born wearing a cape and tights!

daffodils-455359_1280

I sit here writing this post at Emily’s laptop surrounded by her things, as a glass of daffodils hold hope on the windowsill.

The title of this post are the words on a poster above her bed and it ends by saying ‘Just do the best you can’. A supportive gift from her boyfriend.

‘Us girls’ are spending time together and talking through her plans for when she leaves Uni in a few months time. This afternoon Em has gone off to a seminar and I will make a lasagne for us to share when she returns later. Loving support and yummy food go a long way to making life sweet. I listen and offer support in the way of practical things I could do to help, but I am not here to tell her what to do. She has much wisdom, balance and her own instinct to guide her.

From my perspective there is no such thing as mistakes along the road; we can but try different paths and adjust as we go along. No experience is ever wasted. Loving support means everything and a life where those around you offer space for you to talk and work things out for yourself is the kindest way forward. There will always be those who do not understand your choices, the situation you are in and why you take the steps you do. There is flowing grace in listening to your inner voice and holding the hope that all is unfolding with love.

Life can get messy and everyone’s ‘operating system’ is different. There have been times when I have been told that I never stick at things, when my loyalty and loving actions have flown under the radar and I found myself alone on the front line taking the flack for the consequences. False accusations and stories can fly and the hardest thing is to stay silent, retain an open loving heart and continue to step forward.

For me it is not balanced to have expectations on what someone can do for you, or for what you can get from a situation. Balance comes from holding an open heart and flowing loving support for all concerned and in that way ‘A rising tide raises all ships’.

I know in my heart that Emily has choices to make and her own ‘operating system’ will evolve. I cannot protect her from imbalance coming in from others ‘operating systems’, but I can be there with flowing love and support and the ‘shared knowledge’ of self that is hopefully the sturdiest shield in her armoury.

We are all imperfect and without labels love simply is…

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Mum’s fabby friend Claire took this photograph of the solar eclipse this morning and she gracefully said I could use it here. Nature for me is perfect and this morning her display was magnificent as Mum, Dad and I stood in the garden and watched this unfold. I have sat pondering on what to write around this picture all day and then a lovely friend in Australia, ‘Coastalmom’, wrote and pointed out that a comment I had left on her blog was a good title for a blog post……love flowing back to you Di. x

Em and I had a window of opportunity to talk for ages on the phone this morning. It was bliss and the timing perfect. I thought afterwards of all the times that we take a few minutes to chat and send ‘works in progress’ photos to each other on our latest creations and updates on where we are with ‘this and that’.

Mum and I stood on platform this week as mediums in the local spiritualist church, with much gratitude between us that we can work together. We are apparently amusing to watch at times! When either of us has finished a message we turn to the other and ask ‘Would you like to have a go now?’ There follows a few seconds of ‘Do you want to carry on?’, ‘Have you got another message?’ and we end up clasping hands and smiling at each other as we swop places at the front. At one point I turned to the congregation and commented ‘You should see us when we go shopping together!’.

Mum is going for her final assessment as a platform medium tomorrow and she is as nervous as anything. With this pending and a lost hearing aid in the mix, there was much potential for mis-communication this week. Instead there has been laughter and nurture flowing wherever possible and I know that tomorrow she will be grand and ‘fly with it’.

Dad’s week has been building up to a major step towards his latest project and to say there has been a tad of ‘walking on eggshells’ going on around here would be a slight understatement. Step by step everything has been prepared and this afternoon it went off without a hitch. A collective ‘breathing out’ has now taken place…

At rare times in my life I have woken up in the middle of the night with a ‘vision’ and it happened this week. I see things and get detail on the ‘how and what’ and it is all very clear. I took the brave step of sharing it with Mark the next day in the form of a rather long email (poor man), because he was busy all day and we are not due to see each other till tomorrow night. I needed to share it while it was still fresh and then I had a few hours of disquiet until he was able to read it and respond. This is all new territory for us. His reply came and his opening line of ‘I think your idea is brilliant…’ was followed by words of loving care and solid support.

Bobbie, ‘Tornadoday’, said this week that she feels ‘Perfect is the enemy of done’ and I told her that I felt ‘Perfection is the killer of joy’.

With imperfection abounding, nature has flowed perfectly and this week has been filled with love. x

Memories to treasure….

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My special friend Bobbie, ‘Tornadoday’, has this as a part of her life philosophy ‘You cannot travel in the wagon facing backwards’. You paint beautiful pictures with your words Bobbie, and as you and I have shared, there will be times when the wheels can kick up dust even if we are facing frontwards.

Mark organised and led a walk in Lancashire on Saturday following a disused railway line. Twenty two of us set out from Preston railway station following the old railway path through the northern suburbs of the city out into the countryside. We were able to drop down onto the old embankment as we cleared the houses and it was touching to see that people have cared enough to plant bulbs and keep it free of brambles.

I walked alongside some lovely and interesting people as we shared life details and listened to Mark outlining the history of the railway. Some intrepid souls had travelled from as far as Suffolk to be with us. Needless to say there were moments filled with comraderie and laughter as fences, gates and stiles were negotiated.

Derek saying with a twinkle in his eye, as his leg was raised over a particularily difficult fence ‘I knew the thong was a mistake this morning’.

I watched helping hands, encouragement and love flow amoung them all.

There was a chuckle inducing moment when we came across a field full of chickens and I, thrilled to see them, called out without thinking. They streamed up the bank assuming I had food and my fellow walkers (thank goodness we were at the back at that stage) laughed as I stood there saying ‘Oh bollocks, what have I done!’ and ‘Sorry girls’ to the chickens.

A ‘dusty’ feeling in my wagon was that Mark would be focussed on the task in hand and seeing that the group were all safe and enjoying themselves and I would somehow be in the way. Old emotions from the past were surfacing in me and determined to face forwards I battened down the hatches and tried not to bother him. As we all poured into the pub for lunch he immediately made his way over to me smiling and saying ‘Are you alright? I’ve put my rucksack on a chair for you and what would you like to drink?’. There were a number of reassuring moments like this and they made all the difference to how I was feeling, without me having to say a word to him. Very near the end of the walk (did I mention it was about 8 miles long?) he looked across to me and said ‘Only another five minutes to go, are you alright?’. As we worked our way through the little town of Longridge to the old station house (which is lovely), Mark’s friends who were with me at the back again, said ‘You know it’s more like 15 minutes don’t you Jane?’…they were laughing…I mean really!!

Our muddy boots are side by side in the boot of Mark’s car ready for our next walk in North Wales, nestling alongside new memories I already treasure.

Loving circles catch a thermal….

The Wirral

I have felt the need lately to clear space so that new working steps can flow in and last Sunday was my final shift on the online text support service. I logged off at 1pm and to draw a loving line under this work Mark suggested a trip out. I chose the seaside.

It poured down with rain and was, ironically, bitterly cold too, yet this did nothing to dampen spirits in the car as he drove me around The Wirral in Cheshire. We joyfully discovered that we explore in the same way and had a great time discovering all sorts of country lanes and beautiful views. Picnics in the car are great fun and we sat there looking at a map, munching away and coming up with ideas for future adventures as the rain drummed down on the car roof. There was a gap in the clouds and we jumped out to explore Hoylake lifeboat station and the beach…I may have mentioned, several times (ahem), how cold I was, so hot coffee featured in our next pitstop! Then we parked up at West Kirby so I could photograph the sunset. We sat there in companionable silence as the sky and sea changed colour and I was wrapped in his gentle patience as we waited for the best moment to capture nature’s display.

Work has continued to circle through this week as I have picked up the reins again on the live support service. One of the gifts contained in this has been the continued contact with Wendy and Tracey, my colleagues. Very loving frendships full of understanding, support and laughter.

Our dining room table is graced with rainbow colour at the moment as Christine Moran, my loving friend, gifted these beautiful tulips. Chris and I are excited because we are going to be able to spend time together this year at the book launch for her wonderful poetry book ‘Dancing in the Rain’ and during other adventures….pants over tights and cape flicking hey my funky teapot buddy?

Chris's tulips

My work space in Leyland has not been confirmed, so I have set sail looking for new opportunities. This time out I am going to look for independant space and we’ll see where this path leads. I had a list of possible options and Mark took me by the hand to explore them all yesterday. It’s a work in progress, but I have every faith that the circles have a purpose and I’ll flow into the right space. There was one that ‘hummed’ with energy and I am going back tomorrow to explore it further. This latest round of hunting was celebrated with a yummy dinner, which was handy as Mark was starting to go pale……

I have many photos on my phone of Emily and her new hair style this week. Each day she has started the day with ‘This is my style today Mum, what do you think?’ On Monday she had very long hair that was all cut off. Her hair has gone to the Princess Trust to be made into wigs for children dealing with cancer and she also raised over £100 in donations for the same charity. I am so proud of you Em. x

Ems new hair xx

This window of time I have with Mum and Dad is a gift and yesterday morning I managed to finish work early and bobbed outside to see how Dad was getting on building his new store. We fell into a familiar routine and as the welcome Spring sun shone on us and I ‘assisted’ as he worked. He cracked a joke at one stage and asked if I had heard it before? Many memories of ‘assisting’ floated up and I gently suggested that I may, just may, have heard it during other project moments that revolved mainly around guttering and drainage! It made me think of Mum and how many years she has stood ‘assisting’ by his side. You have a book to write here Mate, you really do!

There’s a new week about to start with Emily going great guns on her dissertation, Mum preparing for her final Mediumship assessment, Dad finishing his store and Mark holding my hand as we explore together.

My thoughts end this post with Jasper, as his Mum took a picture of him blowing his Granny kisses for the new tank top she has knitted for him. Xx

Jasper 1

The wonder of a little one….

Jasper

Jasper is one of my little nephews and he is three. His delight at finding a packet of marbles in his Christmas cracker was a joy to behold. ‘Are they mine to keep?’ he asked. ‘Yes’ we all answered and I knelt down and said I would show him how to play ‘marble run’. There followed much joy and cries of ‘Yay’ with all the family clapping as marbles clanked together along the front room carpet. His Mum and Dad have now bought him more marbles and if I close my eyes I can see his beaming face as he plays with them.

There is magic in moments of ‘wonder’……

Mum coming in to give me earrings that perfectly match a new outfit I have put together (with a top gifted by Emily – oohh her keen eye and fashion sense lifts my wardrobe every time).

Emily’s need for a soothing moment and a picture sent across the ether of her first piece of knitting. ‘Look at this Mum……’

Dad’s push against ill health as his new ‘store’ is nearing completion and that lifts things for his projects to come nearer to completion.

Life’s synchronicity flowing as the lovely builder doing the building work for Dad shines with thoughtfulness. When he first moved in next door to Mum and Dad, after travelling from Hungary and unable to speak English, it was near to Christmas. Mum put a Christmas card through his door to welcome him. He flowed back with a complete cooked Hungarian Christmas dinner, he was so grateful for her kindness. Life flowed and his skill and lovely way have built a very busy life and business for him. His work is beautiful and he calmly builds things for Dad, with Dad sitting there keeping him company. They make a good pair and he takes care of Dad ensuring that he does not overdo it. He is also a trained chef and with Mum’s loving cooking, there are a number of plates full of yumminess that flow back and forth between the two homes. This week he asked Mum if she liked roses and she smiled at him. Years ago Dad needed another workshop (yes really!) and Mum lost her garden at the side of their home. She has subsequently built an oasis of pots and window boxes in the small courtyard outside their kitchen window. Tommi (their lovely neighbour and builder) turned up the other evening with five rose bushes…five!! It threw Mum who has nowhere to plant them. He put his arm around her and said ‘Trish, I will build you a raised bed and plant your roses on Sunday’…his English has come on in leaps and bounds and his loving thoughtfulness simply keeps flowing. Mum looked at me and said ‘Do I need to do anything here?’ My reply was ‘No Darling. let him look after this’ and he will.

The kiss on my cheek from Mum as we finished a church service last Sunday, where we had worked on platform together as mediums. Sitting there singing the last hymn and holding hands as we looked out across a congregation with light and love sparkling around them.

Holding a dear friend’s newly published poetry book in my hands last night. Reading her words and being moved to tears. Christine Moran – ‘Dancing in the Rain’ (click on the Publications tab). Chris has pushed way beyond her comfort zone and sparked her muse into beautiful poetry that touches all who read it.

A thoughtful friend suggested I took my quest for ‘work space’ to southern Lancashire this week and he offered to show me around a small town in the South Ribble valley. We stood opposite a house on the high street and saw the sign for alternative therapies which pointed down a cobbled alleyway. That path led to a pretty little cobbled courtyard filled with Spring bulbs and an inviting entrance. A short while later the lady who runs this special place and I were hugging (mid-conversation), as we realised that we could help each other. My search for ‘work space’ has found a home. I am grateful to my Mum and Dad who have held my hand as I pushed beyond my comfort zone and to Mark for joining the dots.

A new chapter has begun. x

Magic moments as Em and I get a whole day to spend together….

Em and 4

Emily has turned 22 and we have been planning a day together since Christmas and on Monday this week we pulled it off.

I headed down the motorway to Leicester and we spent the day doing all the things we love together. Leicester is a thriving city and two universities give it a very young feel. They have ‘lanes’ going off the city centre, just like Brighton, and the little shops up there were tailor made for us girls. We ‘oohhed and aahhed’ over paintings, glasswork, pottery and crafty gifts. We sat in a wonderful deli having lunch and caught up with our news. It felt like we were in Italy. A local wool shop gave us new knitting ideas and projects and the vintage and secondhand furniture shops are a treasure trove of fun.

Em took me to a place called ‘Ocean Commotion’ and some of her childhood memories floated up while we looked in all the tanks. The marvelous colours of the little fish and the gentle burble of the air in the tanks took us to another world for a while. Em remembered when she was little and we used to take her to a garden centre with a special place full of fish tanks. She loved those trips. I remembered two goldfish her Dad won at a fun fair years ago. ‘Gordon and Herbet’ lived with us for quite a while in the big glass bowl I found in a junk shop.

Magic moments float up as I think back to Monday. As the sun set (somewhere high up above, because it tipped down with rain all day) there were little twinkly lights that came on outside the shops. One place was covered in them right up the front from the display window to the roof three stories above. In another there was a studio above a gallery that had us both feeling a longing to get up there and paint. We found a cosy Irish pub and sat and nattered while I sewed a popper onto Em’s coat that kept flapping in the wind. The butterfly umbrella my Mum gifted Em was in use all day, but the weather did nothing to dull our shine.

We had a great time in a restaurant Em had discovered for our dinner. It offered a world buffet and I needed her guidance on several occasions as I looked at food I did not recognise. The staff were great and caught our fun mood and we left there with many good wishes and paper hats on our heads.

As we said ‘au revoir’ to each other Em put a huge bag of clothes, that she no longer wears, in my hand and I have already worn a spangly top that was nestling in there. She also discovered a lovely skirt and scarf in a charity shop for the new work I am doing on platform. She is one canny and thoughtful shopper.

Em is in her final year at Uni and has a 10,000 word dissertation before her in the next few months. We shared memories of the degree choices she had before her just a few short years ago, because she chose the unexpected. She made the best choice for her and I applaud her courage in following her heart, as she is flying with it. She has carved a lovely life out for herself in Leicester and has got out and about exploring and found all sorts of places. Her new friendships there have brought blessings forth and she has discovered much about herself.

Life flows and things rarely go to plan, as our children grow up, and in my case a marriage ends. Emily is a priceless gift from my marriage and life’s gifts continue to flow in the magic moments we have together.

Em and I 1


Jane Thorne

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